Tip: Jellyfish are NOT good with Peanut Butter. (You don't try that more than once.)

Any horizontal barrier is a limbo tournament waiting to happen.

Best thing about grass skirts? Picnicking without fear of grass stains.

SPF stands for Smoothie Prediction Factor. 15 should be your minimum in summer months.

No party is too fancy for tiki torches.

#1 guide to quality of life-pairs of sunglasses owned. Under 1/2-dozen? Hit the mall, then a beach.

Sunblock smells like the beach. Perfume smells like a department store. Advantage, sunblock!

If a wave crashes and nobody is around to hear it except for you, you picked the right beach.

Dueling Banjos is great, but Dueling Ukuleles wouldn't work. Ukuleles won't duel. They're pacifists.

The sunset will always be better than anything on TV. (Yes, even J.J. Abrams' shows.)

Coconuts are nature's combo meal-food, a drink and (if you bowl with it first) a toy.

Hammocks are terrible for working in. Which is why they're perfect.

It's impossible to wake up on the wrong side of the bed in a hammock.

The three "R's" have nothing on the three "S's:" Sand, Sun and Smoothies!

Next time at airport security, start a conga line. If your shoes are off, you may as well enjoy it.

Airbrushed t-shirts aren't a fashion statement, they're a way of life.

Why put a message in a bottle? If you're on a deserted island, you're already set.

If palm trees can't live there, neither should you. That's the only real estate advice you'll ever need.

If it can't be played on a ukulele, it shouldn't be played at all.